Feels like back to square one …

This is probably one of the most honest posts I’ve ever written:

I have come to the conclusion that I must be a nightmare to manage. I think of something and the next thing I know I can hear the words coming out of my mouth … the next bit is meant in some way, to explain why I’m the way I am … I am the product of my past. Some of you whippersnappers out there will also one day be the culmination of your past experiences!! Why I feel the need to justify my personality (I quite like me!!) at this point I genuinely have no idea … so whilst I am being indulgent I am in no way apologising; I suppose I’m explaining.

Straight out from uni I spent a fair few years self-employed (running a town centre boozer if you’re interested!) and when the money that is being spent is your own it puts a different perspective on things. That was a very personal journey and we did whatever needed to be done in terms of hours in order to make that business a success; the crux though is that myself and my husband were the ultimate decision makers and if something needed doing we did it; if something was pointless we didn’t. It really was that simple … we tried things, we evaluated the outcomes and then we adapted the ideas where necessary (obviously we never used words like “evaluate” back then!!). At no point did I need to defer to anyone or do something because it ticked a box … we just did what needed to be done.

I then ventured into the corporate world and I really struggled with a few things – the main one being the “chain of command” and the fact that someone having “more pips on their shoulder” than me would be entitled to my respect because they got paid more or were more “superior” to me. I don’t mean to be awkward … I just like to understand WHY I am being asked to do something. I need to see the big picture and the end result. Tell me what the end result should look like or feel like and I’ll do my utmost to get to that end point, in fact I will be your biggest advocate and “defend you to the death”.

Today was interesting. It was long, frenetic and there is so much information to absorb and take in, along with getting to grips with new ICT systems and that’s before we even get to meet any students! I was also feeling a bit liked I’d missed a memo as I had to miss a bit of one session to go and have my photo taken for a guest blog post I’ve written for a company “who deal with data” … now that was weird having to pose at my classroom desk and outside the school .,,, it all just felt a bit too diva-ish for my liking!!

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy my first day because I did. Everyone is friendly and very professional. Let’s just say I was totally out of my comfort zone. I think I need to be a bit fair to myself here – I know I just need to get back in front of the kids and do what I think  I do quite well … teach!

Roll on tomorrow.

PS: I really do feel sorry for Seager at times but would never tell him that!! (Just hoping this isn’t one of the posts that he reads!)

PPS: in other news I finished my periodic table of maths and am really feeling the love for it! (here’s the post about it!)

PPPS: Don’t imagine I did anything outrageous! I didn’t. I just vowed to myself to nod, agree and do what I was asked … some things are easier said than done!

PPPPS: My day didn’t start so well having left my sun roof open overnight … yep! you’ve guessed it … we had rain!

2017-09-03T18:45:45+00:00 September 2nd, 2014|Blog|

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