So lets get the apology over and done with … this is a rant about nothing in particular! If you are of a sensitive nature I suggest you stop reading now! Seriously … stop!!
Ok then … those of you that are still with me, let’s roll back a few years:
When we owned a pub, to anyone that didn’t know the “score” they would have assumed I was just one of dozens of bar-staff that worked there, and in fact I always played down the fact that I was the “gaffer”. I do remember one particularly awkward customer demanding to see the manager, and no matter what I said she just wouldn’t believe me – in fact I had to literally take her outside to show her my name above the door. I was the same in my corporate jobs and have vivid recollections of attending “shindigs” with my husband and being amazed at how people’s reaction would change when they realised I wasn’t the “little woman” accompanying him, but he was my “plus one”. All of a sudden their body language changed and what I said became soooo much more interesting.
Very quickly I came to the conclusion that some people are shallow. In fact some are as shallow as a teaspoon.
I am not defined by my job – I will rephrase that: I do not define myself by my job. I never have done and am not going to start now (others can define me how they want, I really don’t care!). I am so much more than a teacher: I have interests (ok, so most of them involve education or my allotment!), I have a life, friends (at least outside of term time I do!) and family and of course there is JustMaths. Now don’t read that as me not caring about my job and how I do it. I care! OMG I care! and I work bloody hard … no one is going to take that from me. A strong work ethic is something I grew up with – my mam ran a corner shop seven days a week from 8 am until 10pm (apart from Sundays when she didn’t open until 2pm after she’d been to church and done the family lunch!) and I am not afraid of long hours and hard work, as most of you can attest to, having received
late night early morning emails from me! It does help that I don’t sleep a great deal, and seem to survive on about 5 hours of sleep.
Do you know what I think? Of course you don’t! It is not my job that defines me, but my actions. I’d like to think that my actions are usually honourable and I never set out to upset or offend people and if there is an issue with someone or something I approach it with the philosophy that I will attempt to tackle the issue (if it’s in my power to change it) but I certainly don’t whinge and moan and definitely not behind peoples backs (I am not 6!) ; if I can’t change or influence the issue I try to go straight to “acceptance” and just get on with it. That doesn’t mean I shy away from decisions, but I deal with the “tough stuff” by ensuring (I hope!) all involved are dealt with in a dignified and respectful manner. Let’s put what we do for a living into perspective: we are not carrying out brain surgery; what we do is not “Life or Death” …
It is a year this week since I lost my dad and I am left with memories of him but very little else (those memories are priceless by the way!) and in the end it will come to all of us. Every day I look to make my parents proud of the person I have become and will continue to grow into … Can you say the same?
EDIT: OK so not really the rant I thought it was going to be!